5 Simple Steps to Find Your Personal Style (and Finally Fall in Love With Your Closet Again)

What is Personal Style?

Personal style is an intentional combination of things you wear because YOU want to; not simply because it’s what everyone else is wearing, or because it’s trendy, or because it showed up in your “Recommended For You” feed.

It’s the expression of your personality embodied in your clothes. It’s the overall vibe you create, the things you enjoy wearing splashed with pieces that make you feel special and bring a smile to your face. All that rolls together into outfits that are completely unique to you and that make you feel alive.

How do you know if you need to find your personal style?

You know that feeling when you’re standing in front of a closet jam-packed with clothes… and still sigh, “I have nothing to wear”?

Yeah. That one.

It’s not that you don’t have clothes — it’s that you don’t have clothes that feel like you anymore. Somewhere between running errands, chasing deadlines, or raising kids, your style got buried under practicality and Pinterest boards full of “shoulds.”

Here’s the truth: losing your sense of personal style often has nothing to do with fashion and everything to do with losing touch with yourself.

Maybe you used to love wearing bright colors, but now you default to black because it’s “safe.” Maybe you’ve been buying whatever’s trending because you’re not sure what fits your vibe anymore. Or maybe life’s just been… busy, and style feels like something other people have time for.

But deep down, you know that something’s missing — that quiet spark of joy that comes from putting on an outfit that makes you light up inside.

The good news? That spark isn’t gone. It’s just waiting for you to notice it again.

In this post, you’ll learn how to find your personal style — not by following trends or copying influencers, but by tuning into what truly makes you feel alive. We’ll explore how to clear out the noise, rediscover what lights you up, and curate a wardrobe that finally feels like home.

Because fashion isn’t just about clothes — it’s about coming back to you.

The Real Reason You Can’t “Find Your Style”

If you’re like most people you’ve probably spent hours scrolling through Pinterest, saving “style inspo” boards that look beautiful — but somehow still don’t feel like you. You’ve tried capsule wardrobes, copied influencer outfits, maybe even bought that one viral blazer everyone was raving about… and yet, something still feels off.

That’s because you can’t find your personal style by looking outside of yourself.

For years, we’ve been taught that “style” means following rules:
Dress for your body type.
Wear colors that flatter your skin tone.
Keep up with trends so you don’t look “outdated.”

But when you’re busy trying to fit into all those boxes, it’s easy to forget the most important question:

Do I actually like this?!?

The truth is, the fashion world has made billions convincing women they’re missing something — that the next purchase, the next makeover, the next “10 wardrobe essentials” list will finally make them feel confident.

But confidence doesn’t come from conformity. It comes from alignment — from wearing clothes that reflect who you are right now.

You weren’t meant to blend in. You were meant to shine.

I remember talking with a friend who told me, “I feel so boring. My clothes are just… fine. They’re not me.”

She’d spent years buying what she thought she should wear — classic neutrals, practical basics, nothing too loud. When I asked her what kind of style actually excited her, she hesitated, then told me, “Honestly… I love color. I love prints. I want to feel fun again.”

That moment? That spark? That’s where finding personal style begins — not in a store, but in your soul.

So before you go searching for your style on another mood board, take a deep breath.

Forget what’s “in.” Forget what’s “flattering.” Forget what someone else said you should wear.

You already have a style. You’ve just been too busy surviving to hear it whispering to you.

Step 1 — Tune Into What Makes You Feel Alive

Before you can define your personal style, you have to reconnect with you — the version of yourself that feels vibrant, magnetic, and fully alive.

Style isn’t about trends or labels; it’s about energy.

When you wear something that lights you up, people can feel it — that extra sparkle in your step, that easy confidence that says, “Oh, this? Yeah, this is me.”

But most of us have spent so long dressing for practicality, comfort, or other people’s expectations that we’ve forgotten what that even feels like.

So let’s change that.

Here’s your first task: pay attention to what makes you feel good.

Not what looks good by someone else’s standards — what feels good on you.

Which colors make you light up?
Which fabrics feel amazing against your skin?
What outfits make you stand a little taller when you catch your reflection?
What kinds of pieces always jump out at you when you’re scrolling or shopping?

Start a “Style Joy Journal” – grab a cute little notebook (or decorate a plain one) and make notes about anything style related that give you a zing of excitement. For a more visual journal simply create a Pinterest board where you save outfits, fabrics, and colors.

Don’t overthink it — go by instinct.

You might start to notice patterns. Maybe you love bold jewelry and vintage denim. Maybe you’re drawn to earthy tones and flowy fabrics. Or maybe you’ve got a secret rocker-chic streak waiting to come out.

Whatever it is, follow it.

You don’t have to name your style right now. This isn’t about labeling yourself — it’s about rediscovering what feels right.

✨ Style hint: If an outfit makes you smile when you put it on, that’s your intuition saying “yes.” Trust that feeling more than any fashion rule ever written.

When you start tuning into what genuinely brings you joy, you’ll notice that getting dressed becomes less about what you ‘should’ wear and more about what’s authentic.

And that’s where the magic begins.

Step 2 — Declutter the Noise (and Your Closet)

Now that you’re tuning into what makes you feel alive, it’s time to clear out some things that don’t.

Your closet should feel like your own little boutique — not a graveyard of “maybe someday” clothes and “I used to fit into this” memories.

Every piece hanging there carries energy. Some of it lifts you up. Some of it drags you right back down.

You know the ones:
That dress you loved… ten years ago.
The jeans you’re saving “just in case.”
The blouse you bought because your husband said it was “so flattering,” but you secretly hate wearing it.

Each of those items whispers a story — sometimes one of guilt, comparison, or old versions of yourself you’ve outgrown. And it’s time to lovingly let them go.

This isn’t about minimalism (my closet keeps expanding… what was once a ‘his’ and ‘hers’ side has morphed into about a 20/80 split) or following rigid “capsule wardrobe” rules (yawn).

It’s about making space for joy, clarity, and self-expression.

Here’s how to start a mini style declutter session to find your personal style — just enough to create some breathing room and a few instant wins (we’ll go deeper in a future post!):

Start small. Choose one section — like tops, shoes, or accessories. Don’t overwhelm yourself by tackling it all at once.

Spot the obvious no’s. Pull out anything that makes you sigh, tug, or immediately think “ugh.” Those are easy wins to release.

Find your happy pieces. Pick 3–5 items that make you feel good every single time you wear them. Keep them easily seen and accessible; even if you don’t wear them on the regular, just seeing them there sets the tone in your closet that it’s a positive joyful space.

Make a “Maybe” pile. For items you’re unsure about, set them aside in a bin or garment bag. Revisit them in a few weeks — if you haven’t missed them, you’ll know what to do.

You don’t have to overhaul your entire wardrobe overnight. Even ten minutes of intentional clearing can shift your energy and help you see your style more clearly.

✨ Quick win tip: Declutter frequently until you’ve got a solid foundation of ‘you’ items in your closet, and then every once in a while after that just to stay on top of it. Choose times when you’re in a powerful, confident, happy mood; it really helps with making decisions.

Step 3 — Experiment Without Pressure

Now comes the fun part — playtime!

Once you’ve cleared a little space in your closet (and in your head), it’s time to start exploring what actually feels like you. The key here is curiosity, not perfection.

Think of this phase like a style playground: you’re allowed to try things, mix things, and even get it “wrong.” Because truly; that’s where the magic happens.

Here’s your permission slip: you do not have to have it all figured out.

Start small and low-pressure:

Try on something from your “maybe” pile in a new way — layer it, knot it, or style it differently.

Mix patterns or textures that you normally wouldn’t.

Throw on a funky accessory just because it makes you smile.

When you’re shopping, pick one piece that feels fun and a little outside your comfort zone — then see how it feels when you wear it.

If it makes you feel awkward, laugh it off and move on. If it makes you smile? That’s a clue.

The first time I decided to wear pointy multi-coloured heels to the grocery store I hesitated for a second, wondering if people would think it was “too much.”

But the minute I walked out my door, I felt electric — I was expressing myself and it was FUN. That’s when I realized: style isn’t about getting approval. It’s about reclaiming your energy.

So go ahead — play dress-up.

Try the hat. Layer the patterns. Mix that thrifted denim jacket with your favorite floral skirt.

You might just discover that the thing you were afraid to wear is actually your new signature move.

✨ Style mantra: If it makes you happy, wear it. No explanation needed.

Step 4 — Notice Your Signature Vibes

After you’ve spent a little time playing and experimenting, patterns will start to emerge — and not just on your clothing. You’ll begin to notice certain vibes that consistently make you feel like the best version of yourself.

Maybe it’s the bold earrings you keep reaching for, or the way you light up every time you wear leopard print. Maybe it’s that cozy mix of denim, linen, and soft neutrals that feels like calm confidence.

Whatever it is, those are your signature vibes.

This isn’t about putting yourself into a box like “boho chic” or “classic minimalist.” Strict labels are boring and limiting — and we are NOT about that. This is about noticing what energy you naturally radiate when you’re dressing for you.

Try this simple reflection exercise:

Take a photo of your favorite 5–10 outfits from the past month.
Lay them out (physically or digitally) and look for themes.

What colors keep showing up?
What silhouettes make you feel the most confident?
What accessories or details appear again and again?

You might be surprised how clearly your essence comes through.

You’ll start to see, “Oh! I actually love bold color and texture,” or “My vibe is relaxed but intentional — comfortable with a twist.”

Dig out the Style Joy Journal you created and now combine the inspiration you used with the results of your experimenting into a Style Mood Board — you can use Canva, Pinterest, or even an old-school corkboard. Fill it with images, fabrics, and outfits that represent your personal spark.

✨ Pro tip: You don’t have to reinvent yourself — you’re simply rediscovering the version of you that’s been waiting under all those “shoulds.”

Once you start noticing your style patterns, choosing outfits gets easier (and a lot more fun). You’ll have a clearer sense of what feels authentic, what doesn’t, and how to express yourself intentionally — every single day.

Step 5 — Dress Like the Main Character (Every Day)

Now that you’ve reconnected with what feels like you, it’s time to start living it — every day.

You don’t have to be heading to a big event or doing something “special” to show up like the main character of your own life.

In fact, the real magic happens on the ordinary days — when you choose to get dressed for yourself instead of the occasion.

When you think about it, getting dressed is often the first creative decision you make every morning. So why not make it count?

Start small:
Swap your “meh” sweatshirt for one that makes you smile.
Add your favorite jewelry to your grocery run outfit.
Throw on those fun shoes just because they make you feel powerful.

It’s not vanity — it’s vitality.

When you wear clothes that express who you are, you send a message to the world (and to yourself): I’m here, I’m me, and I’m living with intention.

Think of it this way: dressing like the main character isn’t about being dramatic or showy — it’s about being present.

You’re not waiting for life to happen someday. You’re showing up for it now, in full color.

And bonus – that energy is contagious. When you walk into a room glowing with confidence, people feel it. You inspire them to do the same.

So tomorrow morning, when you’re getting dressed, try this:

✨ Ask yourself, “What would the joyful, fully expressed version of me wear today?”
Then wear that.

Even if it’s just jeans and a tee — if it feels aligned, it counts.

If you’re looking for some very bold inspiration, no one did personal style better than the iconic Iris Apfel. She has since passed, but take a look at the Christie’s Auction listing (closed, but so cool to see! 🙃) for many of her items and this gallery of her outfits in action for a glimpse of her style.

Bringing It All Together — Style as a Path Back to You

The deeper you go into this process, the more you realize: finding your personal style isn’t about clothes — it’s about clarity.

Every time you choose something that feels like you, you’re choosing presence. You’re choosing to show up for your own life instead of just drifting through it.

When you pause to think about it, fashion has this sneaky, powerful way of reflecting what’s happening inside.

The moment you stop dressing to please or blend in, you start to reconnect with your own rhythm — the colors that make your spirit hum, the silhouettes that help you feel grounded or bold, the textures that remind you that you’re very much alive.

That’s not superficial. That’s sacred.

Because when you put something on that genuinely represents who you are — not who you were, not who the internet says you should be — you send a quiet signal to the universe: I’m here.

Here for joy.
Here to play.
Here as the version of me who is actively participating in life.

And it’s funny — once you start expressing yourself through what you wear, other things begin to shift too.

You hold your head a little higher. You speak up more. You catch your reflection and think, Oh yeah, this is me.

That’s what personal style really is: not a wardrobe, but an embodiment.

If you’re ready to keep exploring that feeling — to keep showing up as your most confident, expressive self — get in on my fabulous fashion emails. It’s where I share weekly sparks of inspiration, mindset shifts, and easy style ideas to help you keep that energy alive long after you close your closet door.

FAQs

The Moral of the Style Story? Be You.

Your personal style was never really lost — it’s just been waiting patiently for you to slow down and listen.

Finding your style isn’t about changing who you are; it’s about remembering her. The woman who used to play, experiment, laugh, and wear what made her feel alive. The one who still lives inside you — she just needs a little nudge to come out and shine again.

Every time you choose an outfit that makes you smile, you’re choosing yourself.

You’re choosing joy over judgment, authenticity over approval, and intention over autopilot.

So go ahead — step into your closet tomorrow and see it not as a collection of clothes, but as a canvas. Each outfit is another brushstroke in the story of you. Paint delicately, gob it on, smear it with your fingers, there are no rules (aside from making sure it feels like you.)